The American Taoist

So here I am, after much thought and deliberation, writing a blog that may very well sputter, crash, and burn... but that's alright. I'm not concerned with soaring right now, but rather talking about Taoism, something I am at times passionate about, and other times dispassionate, but never faithless.

I know it seems weird saying that word, faithless, because it conjures up ideas of faith, belief without proof and all that, yet for me much of Taoism is about faith, because there is no real proof that Tao exists, in fact Lao Tzu tells us this in the very first few lines of the Tao Te Ching, anytime we talk about Tao, it's not Tao, but rather tao, because Tao with a capital "t" isn't something we can talk about, so the only thing we can do is have faith that it is real and strive to understand it. 

Maybe that's what draws me to it really, Taoism, and especially Modern Taoism, or if you'd rather, American Taoism, this need to have a purpose, something that is beyond destiny or predetermination. Something that tells me that as long as I do what I am supposed to, it doesn't matter what happens. It's calming. It eases the mind and gives me some kind of resolution, even when things don't seem to be going right.

Recently I moved across the country from Jacksonville, Florida to Aberdeen, Washington. I did it without any real idea of what I was going to do, just knowing on some level that it needed to be done. Now Aberdeen isn't new to me, I've spent a good portion of my life here, twelve years in the Northwest, but I've been gone for at least another twelve and coming back after all that time in the warm sunshine is a bit of a shock. 

I saw the sun only once in ten days. That was strange, even though I knew it was the way things are here. It's rough, I wont deny it. I keep thinking damp is the best way to describe this part of the country, but that's not true. Perhaps it's wet... no water... that's what it is. 

I confess that it was here, in Aberdeen, that I first learned about Taoism. I bought my first copy of the Tao Teh Ching in 1992 at the Waldenbooks in the Grays Harbor Mall. That was when there were still stores at the mall, before the timber industry collapsed and left little in the way of jobs for this corner of the state. Now you walk through and there is little left. There are more vacancies than occupied stores. It shook me up the first time I saw it. 

I guess that's the water part, it stays in places reviled by men. This place is certainly reviled at times, down right depressing, but the Tao is here, even if I can't explain how it is here or why it is here, it is here. I have faith that it is here, just as I have faith it is in every other place I've been or you've been. That's the cool thing about Tao, I don't have to know what it is to know it is here. I don't have to prove to you that Tao exists, because it doesn't matter if it exists. The only thing I have to do is live my life at this moment, in this place in time, doing what I can. 

The American Taoist. The one in ten-thousand, who decides to throw everything aside and find the truth. That's what it's about, right? Learning how to live our lives on life's terms? That's what Taoism is really about, the notion that we aren't in charge, that the idea of controlling the world is crazy, it just can't be done, so we don't even try, we just do what we can. 

Of course the other part of water is that it purifies itself. The dark sediment settles and the murky depths become clarified. We see what we didn't see before and I see this town in a different way than I did as a neophyte all those years ago. My age has made me aware that it isn't the state of the town that is reviled, but the reflection of myself in this town. I can't revile something I don't have contempt for. I see the beauty in the rain, the clouds, the water, the ever present greenery that surrounds me. There are no patches of dead grass, nothing is dried up here, there are no husks, life is abundant, even without the constant light of the sun, perhaps because of its absence. 

And maybe it's that absence that allows me to look beyond what I knew and see what I don't know. It's the darkness that allows me to appreciate the light and how I appreciate the sun now. Those few moments it comes out brings a smile to my face. Every day is new and old, depending on how I look at it. Today it's new and I'm going to take advantage of this opportunity. 

Anyways, this is my blog. It's not much, I'll admit, but I offer you everything I can. I hope you drop by again. I'm not sure what an American Taoist is, but I know it has something to do with faith and the Tao. Maybe together we can figure this out.

Aaron